Friday, February 23, 2007

Please, Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em...

...by wearing a popped collar.






As a present for reviving your career, I'm going to buy you a bunch of shirts that say "Can't Touch This" on the collar.

Also, why are you trying to pop the collar on baseball, basketball and football jerseys? Those don't even have collars than can be popped. Does the MC stand for "mentally challenged"?

It's a shame that you're not 2 legit, 2 legit to quit popping (or trying to pop) your collar.

Usher, You Remind Me Of A Boy That I Once...

...wanted to punch in the face for wearing a popped collar.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Don't Ask, Don't Tell.



I won't ask about what you do in private if you don't tell the world that you are a fucktard.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Keep An Eye Out...

Polo shirts that hang out in groups and are unsupervised tend to do stupid things like pop themselves. They don't know any better. It's up to you to teach them.

He's So Drunk.

This guy is so drunk that he managed to both throw up on himself and throw his collar up. He's 12 steps away from an appropriate collar.

That IS Confusing.


Due to his owner insisting on popping his collar, the poor thing doesn't know whether his ears are supposed to go up or down.

We're Here, We're...Lame?

This picture is taken at the "Pride of Pets" dog show. You can't see the popped collar dude's pet because it's hiding in shame.

Glad that he's proud of who he is and is out of the closet.
Sad that his polo shirt came out of the closet that morning.

That's Played Out.


Popped collars make me hate both the player and the game.
(In fact, they are so uncool that I'm using the standard spelling of player instead of the slang version ending in a)

Take A Breather.

This guy is taking a moment to think about what's wrong with popping his collar. I think he's wishing his dignity back.

I Prefer The Original.

I'm fairly confident that this picture is the basis for an episode of Law and Order: SVU. I can't believe people exploit kids like this. For the love of Pete, he's wearing TWO popped collars.

What's He Up To These Days?


This guy popped his collar and know what happened to him?
He died.

Intervention.

He's only trying to stop you before you stop yourself.

Popped Collars, You Drive Me Crazy!

Normally Fred wouldn't pop his collar but the voices in his head said that he should. Well, at least he's not wearing pajama pants outside of his home.

Off With Their Heads!

People who pop their collars don't have very much going on above the neck.

Dear Parents...


In 13 years, when your kid slams a door in your face, and says "I hate you" and "I wish I were never born" I hope you remember that you put these pictures on the internet.

Irony is played out.

I used to be just anti-collar popping. Now I am also anti-ironic collar popping.



Sadly, the Team Irony bus left without its team captains.
(You can tell which one is the star player by his black plastic glasses)

Monday, October 17, 2005

No Comment.


I'm sure in real life this guy is a nice person, but solely based on his attire, I want to punch him in the face.

I understand why...


...you're hiding your face, but why must you hide your neck?

Sunday, October 16, 2005

$1200?!


Cost of this self-portrait: $1200.
Cost of concealer to cover up the hickeys on one's neck: $4.
Cost of you restoring dignity to your neck by wearing your collar down: Priceless.

The Artist Within.


Rembrandt painted this self-portrait of himself with a popped collar.
I believe this was painted during his "self-loathing" period.

Much like the Titanic...


...your collar goes down, Leo!

Oh Celine.


Look Celine Dion, I don't know a lot about how y'all roll in Canada but I'm sure that popped collars aren't acceptable there.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Tony The Tiger.


Popped collars are not grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

Kevin Federline Called...


And he said that he wanted his look back. He also wanted your collar down.
Don't make K-Fed have to have a dance off with you.

Felix the Cat.





For some reason this guy reminds me of a preppy Felix the Cat.
For some stupid reason he's wearing a tie with a polo shirt.
For some sad reason he's popping his collar.
It's all quite tragic.

I Hope It's Not Too Windy Outside...


...or this poor guy might take flight.

The Odds.


What are the odds that...

That's his natural eye color?
Slim.

That's the way the collar on his shirt is supposed to be worn?
None.

His nose is weirdly shaped because someone justifiably punched him in the face for wearing a popped collar?
High.


It's a Shame...


...that you won't duct tape your collar down.

Winner!



Notice the medal around his popped collar?
I think he's in some sort of olympics for special people.
He's fashion challenged.
Awwww.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Another Exception.


This collar popping took place at a party called "Preppy Clothes and Ivy League Hoes".
I am a sucker for theme parties with rhyming names.
I'll let this one slide.

Take Note...


This kid has a normal sized head.
Any guess as to what the problem with her attire is?

Dude Looks (kinda ) Like A Lady.


Like a lady with a fuckin' popped collar.

PETA is Going to Flip Their Shit...


PETA would rather see you make a coat out of this dog than subject it such atrocious displays of collar popping.

Okay, another acceptable popped collar.


This popped collar is only okay because it is supporting this kid's gi-normous head.
If he had a normal sized head, it'd totally be child abuse.

Collar Popping Leads to Divorce.


Once Jennifer Aniston found out about Brad's collar popping ways, she was done.
Sure, there were other factors, but the collar popping is what really did the relationship in.

If you must...


If you must pop your collar, do it like this.
Protect your adams apple from those harmful UV rays!

Damn, that collar pop is straight out of the Victorian era.
That's not gansta, but it is Elizabethan.
Still, it is a collar pop.
No props for you.

Ah-nold Is Not Amused.


Suppose that the Terminator was preppy.
And out of shape.
And unkept.
And named Chad.

Would you still elect him as your governor?

That's what I thought.

Help!


Help! I'm trapped in a collar popping relationship!

This Couple is....


...so white that if they had kids the kids would be transparent.
While there are several collar fouls in this picture, I'd like to take a moment to observe that the chick looks vaguely like Cecile from Cruel Intentions. Also, you can't tie a sweater around a popped collar. That Polo Sweater is not an oversized tie.

This Relationship is Going to Tank...


This dude can't even tell that this is not the proper shirt for popping, why should he be trusted with her emotions?
By the way, no shirt is proper for popping.

So white it hurts.




What hurts?
The collars smothering their necks.

That's Not Right!



My mom is a social worker. If she sees this I believe she's obligated to report it as child abuse.

Laid?


The actual caption on this photo was
"this is what I look like after sex"
I don't think I need to comment further.

At Least He Has A Message.



Note to self: Auction off collar on eBay.
Note to reader: The "Nats" are for a swim meet.

Oh Snap!




This dude is wil'in' out with his 4, that's right I said 4, collars.
That's so gangsta I'm ducking under my desk right now.

I Vant to Suck Your Collar...


That guy looks like a preppy Dracula.
If I were that girl I'd put my collar up to protect my neck.
Just kidding.
I'd rather be turned into a vampire than wear my collar up.

Child Neglect.



If your dad really loved you he wouldn't pop his collar in front of you.